Watch these videos to learn more about consent and tips for healthier communication!
Whether it’s your first time having sex, a random hook up, or getting down with a long time partner, talking about sex can be difficult. Verbal communication is essential for obtaining sexual consent so talking about sex should be a normal part of every sexual encounter. For a healthier sex life, try practicing the tips below.
Tips for Sexy Communication:
- Verbally express what you like (and don’t like)- Your partner isn’t a super hero so they can’t read your mind. Help them out by giving them verbal cues of what you like and what feels good, let them know if you don’t like something. Return the favor by asking them what feels good.
- Set sexual boundaries- Before things get hot and heavy tell your partner how far you are willing to go and find out what they are comfortable doing. Whether it’s a romantic dinner or a simple text, be clear about what your boundaries are.
- Remember you can change your mind at any time, even during sexy time- You may have been comfortable with a sexual activity the last time you hooked up or even at the start of this hook up but for whatever reason that changed. Verbally tell your partner if your comfort level changes. If someone expresses they are uncomfortable, stop the sexual contact immediately and ask your partner what they are comfortable with. It may be slowing things down a notch or it might be to stop all together, whatever the case, respect their wishes.
- Keep the communication coming- As you proceed with a sexual encounter keep checking in with your partner, tell them what you like and see how they are feeling about it. Phrases like, “do you like this”, “does this feel good” “would you like it if I…” are just a few examples of how you can check in with someone.
- If somethings not right STOP- If your partner seems uneasy or uncomfortable don’t proceed with sexual activity. Remember, yes means yes and the absence of no is not consent. If you are uncomfortable tell your partner to stop.
- No convincing- You should never have to convince someone to have sex with you. Relentless pressure is not consent it is coercion.
- Have fun!- Healthy communication is sexy and the more you practice the easier it gets.
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